


You said okay

by ItsPsychoTime



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Confessions, Depression, Fluff, Internal Conflict, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Secret Crush, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:40:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28606116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsPsychoTime/pseuds/ItsPsychoTime
Summary: He laid on his living room floor, unwilling to get up and move somewhere comfortable.“Fuck. This is where I am now? This is how it’s going to be?”He grunted out as another stray tear fell down his cheek and onto the ground. He whimpered and curled into a ball and croaked out.“Then so fucking be it.”
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	You said okay

Peeling his dark brown eyes open, George felt the familiar warm rays of the sun dancing upon his skin. Groaning to himself he turned away, not wanting to fully awaken yet. The feeling of tiredness slowly creeped up his spine and through his body, a small smile adorned his face at the sensing of it. 

  
  


It was a gentle warmness he loved but also loathed at the same time. He loved how it felt, how it was gentle and fuzzy. How it would slowly drift him off into a space in his head where everything and anything could bend to his will. But he loathed how it ripped time away. How simple sleep stole away hours of time he could be using to create content, talk to friends, talk to fans.

  
  


Talk to _Dream._

  
  


And just like that, sleep wasn’t an option for George. His eyes snapped open but he still laid there, his muscles still not ready to endure the adventures of today. His head though, it was now swimming with thoughts.

  
  


Thoughts of a familiar man with brown hair that fluffed out in all different directions. Thoughts of a man with a sharp jaw-line and soft lips… The thoughts of the man who made him laugh and smile despite any mishaps or problems in his daily life. Just imagining his bright smile, charming mannerisms, and sense of humor made George feel… nice inside.

  
  


These were thoughts of _Dream_ . Thoughts of a man George would do anything to have in his life _forever_. 

  
  


But of course, that is up to Dream in the end whether he wants to keep on hanging out with George and the others, or if he would rather leave.

  
  


George dismissed himself at the bitter feeling in his heart at the idea of Dream leaving. He’s been friends with him for so long, after all. Years of gaming together, talking via voice and text, and countless moments of comforting one another made George’s attraction towards Dream grow. He has loved him since day one, but with years of build up, he couldn’t bear the thought of Dream leaving. 

  
  


Sighing to himself, George sat up, shaking his head free of the negative thoughts and reached over for his phone. Familiar icons of notifications popped up, the main ones being from his Discord chats. He tapped the icon and read through them. Most of them came from Bad and Sapnap, mainly back and forth banter between the two. George chuckled at the messages and got up to start his day. Following his normal routine of showering, eating a small breakfast, and quickly brushing his teeth before hopping on his computer.

  
  


He scrolled through some social media before a Discord notification from Dream popped up in the right-hand corner of the screen. George felt his chest get light and he smiled but the curve in his lips quickly turned into a small frown. A sudden coldness washed over him like a vicious tidal wave. His cursor hovered over the icon, but he never clicked to read it. George furrowed his brows in confusion, leaning back in his chair as the coldness slowly turned into a mix of panic and sadness. A hint of regret was in the melting pot of complex feelings that just started to bubble in his chest like lava. Blinking a few times to try and clear his head, he turned back to the screen and tried to ignore this feeling.

  
  


But it got _worse_.

  
  


Everytime he looked at his screen all he did was trail his eyes back to the notif in the corner. Dream’s name is still stapled there like a permanent sticky note. The feeling in his chest became tighter, it felt suffocating and scary. He felt guilty almost, like he’s doing something he shouldn’t be doing by ignoring the notif and focusing on work. But for whatever reason every time he went to click the icon, he couldn’t. He froze still, almost as if something was going to attack him if he read the message.

  
  


But this was a simple message from Dream, his close friend. Why is he suddenly so scared to open it? Just yesterday he, Dream, and a few others were doing a live stream together. Nothing out of the ordinary, just laughing and joking around like they normally do. So why did George all of a sudden feel like a stranger when looking at Dream’s name on his own computer? 

  
  


He turned the monitor off in frustration. Unable to look at it anymore because all he could think about was the strange fear he was feeling and Dream’s message. Why the hell was he so scared to read it!? He’s never felt like this before. Never felt like a stranger when opening a friend's message, as if it was never meant for him nor his to open. 

  
  


He sighed deeply, maybe he was getting sick or something. Standing up he stretched once more and looked down at his phone “Oh, I gotta ask Bad when he wants to stream again.” He piped out to himself in thought before heading back to his room. Laying down he thought of what to do with the rest of the day. The original plan was to have a productive day and finish any projects, videos, or online tasks. But that was cut short and for what reason? George doesn’t truly know. 

  
  


He groaned “God, what is happening right now?” He asked himself before narrowing his eyes and looking at his phone once more. Another message from Dream appeared and George quickly slammed the phone onto his bed as to avoid the unfamiliar feelings from rising back up. He shut his eyes and rubbed his temples, trying to rid his thoughts of Dream to make himself feel better. The bitter emotions filled back up again and he bit the inside of his cheek in frustration but kept his eyes shut. 

  
  


**_“It all started with closed eyes and a feeling in my gut telling me I need to keep them shut the whole time…”_ **

  
  


George furrowed his brows again, he felt guilty for ignoring Dream. But it also felt wrong to open the simple message. As if opening it will mess something up, more so mess something in George’s heart up. 

  
  


He peaked his eyes open and slowly lifted his phone again and sighed in relief. The notification was gone, but there was a new one from Sapnap. George read it to himself, it was a quick _“wanna call?”_ text which George replied with a _“sure”_

His phone started ringing and he quickly answered _“Hey there Georgie!”_ Sap’s voice rang through the speaker happily and George smiled. The unwanted feelings slowly melted away as he spoke “What’s up Sap?” He asked back _“Nothing down here. You didn’t get my message but I was wondering if you wanted to record some stuff with me besides the stream later?”_ George hummed into the mic in thought “Sure. What did you have in mind?” He wondered and Sap replied _“You know the usual, record some crafting and whatnot. Maybe a relaxed video today though.”_ Sap explained with a small chuckle and George raised a brow “What’s so funny?” He asked as he propped himself up on his bed, Sap hummed and offered an idea _“Why not invite Dream into this recording?”_

  
  


George froze again and clenched the phone in his hand. The bad feelings of guilt, regret and sadness hit him again like a bullet train. He made a strangled noise which Sap caught onto _“Hey, you okay George?”_ His voice was full of concern but all George could do nod his head with a small ‘uh-huh’. He looked down at his lap as Sap kept talking, asking about the noise and if George was okay again. George kept on replying with simple ‘yeah’s’ but his mind was elsewhere. At the mention of Dream all Goerge could think of was his personality, his face, the way his lips curved when he smiled, the way his eyes lit up when chatting with others. Just his _everything_.

  
  


George kept thinking about how Dream treated him like gold while George felt that he himself was so… plain. George felt _insignificant_ when it came to Dream. He felt small and unworthy compared to the taller man who almost everyone seemed to like. Dream was so good at almost everything and seemed to draw people in like moths to a flame. George wondered why Dream wasted his time even talking to him. Not the mention this crush George has on Dream wasn’t helping the feeling of being lowly go away. Now Dream’s face was plastering itself all around George’s head. All he could think of was Dream and his damn smile.

  
  


**_“Because if they opened even for a second and I saw your lips they’d suck me in like black holes when they bend light…”_ **

_“George? George? GEORGE!?”_

  
  


Snapping his head back up George gasped and fumbled with his phone “Y-yeah Sap?” Wow, he really forgot he was talking to Sap just then _“Are you really okay, George? You seem really out of it.”_ Not wanting to worry his friend George put up a happy voice “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I’m just really tired.” Sap huffed, unconvinced but unable to really do much else _“How about we cancel recording and you rest then? You can call me whenever you’d like so we can talk later.”_ He offered in which George agreed “Yeah, sure. Thanks for the offer Sap, talk later.” George quickly hung up the phone and laid back down. Rubbing his eyes slowly as a small headache started to set in from all the confusing thoughts and feelings. Sighing loudly he sat back up and glanced at the clock “Should I…?” He pondered to himself before a smile broke out onto his face. The idea of going off into dreamland sounded rather nice and he slowly laid back down. Turning away from his phone he shut the curtains and pulled his blanket up. The fuzzy feeling of sleep coddled him nicely, and just like a few hours ago George drifted off to sleep.

  
  


It was a few long hours later he had awoken. Feeling refreshed and ready to get back to work, he stood up and opened the blinds again. Expecting it to still be daylight George was shocked to see it was actually well into night. Did he sleep for that long? He went to bed around 2 pm, and according to his clock it was now 10 pm. Frowning slightly he bashed himself for sleeping so long but ultimately went to his desktop to work on stuff. Smiling at the screen full of fan praise, he opened a file and began some editing work. He worked for a few good hours before the older notification from Dream dinged again, reminding him to respond soon. George went rigid but this time, he kept on working. Simply ignoring the message as if it never happened, but his head drifted off once more. 

  
  


He wanted Dream in his life. He wanted to admit his feelings for him so badly that it hurt. But the feeling of being forgotten and shoved away, being lowly and pitiful, and just being small made the idea of him and Dream being together seem… wrong. How could someone as big as Dream go for someone as small as him? Leaning back in his chair again he opted to look out the window for a change of sight. Smiling to himself at the sight of the moon outside and the stars surrounding it. An image slowly formed in his head, an image of him and Dream together under the moonlight. The stars were reflecting off Dream's eyes as if the pockets of light and dust sent Dream onto earth themselves to prove the universe created destiny’s for people. Dream was smiling at George in a way that made George feel good inside. But when he looked away from the moon he felt sad. He knew he would never get to live out that image he created, it was just unrealistic. Despite his best effort though, George found himself looking out of the window again, staring right back at the moon with a wandering gaze.

  
  


**_“And it was then I realized you were not my world, you were my universe.”_ **

_________________________________

  
  


Waking up was easier the next morning and George felt as if nothing happened yesterday. With newfound confidence he grabbed his phone and finally opened the message Dream had sent him yesterday. Smiling to himself at the _“How are you doing?”_ Dream sent, George replied with a quick apology _“Sorry I was really busy, I’m going good hbu?”_ He felt giddy now, happy to talk to Dream despite how negative the idea was before. 

  
  


Dream had not replied instantly but George didn’t really mind. Dream was most likely busy with actual work. Something George pushed to start and finish today. Getting up he did his morning routine once more and got to work. Finishing up one video and editing a few others before getting another message from Dream _“It’s alright Georgie but how about we record a little later? Say like 5 or 6?”  
  
_

George hummed happily at the idea but his grip tightened on his phone. A small bubble of self-doubt formed in his heart and he shook his head and again, looked out the window just like he did yesterday. It was daylight but with enough imagination George could still see the moon and beautiful stars around it. He could still see the perfect picture he created of him and Dream together under the stars. God, George wishes he could reach into his mind and pull that picture out. He wanted to make it reality but he knows his hands are not worthy to even hold such a thought. He knows it will never happen but he _prays_ he will never forget the scene. 

  
  


**_“Sometimes I look up and I see stars that cut through the sky and fade into nothingness and I pray that you are not as fleeting.”_ **

  
  


George nibbled his lip as the self-doubt built up higher and more anxious thoughts appeared in his head. Another thought about Dream leaving him and the others behind for something bigger and better set him in a panic. George felt guilty again, it’s up to Dream what he wants to do in his life. What right does George have to really be upset about it?

He rolled his chair out and stood up, maybe a break outside this time will help clear his head. He smiled and grabbed his keys, leaving his home and locking the door on the way out. He plopped himself inside the drivers side of the car and started driving nowhere in particular. Turning on his favorite song he felt his head ease out, and the ride was smoothe for the most part.

  
  


Then, he got another notification 

  
  


**_“Because when we’re lying on roads I get the same feeling that gravity will just turn off and I’ll fall endlessly into something much bigger than I am.”_ **

  
  


It was a Twitter notification Dream posted, it had a small pic of George laughing and above it read,

_“Gonna record later with the one and only :)”_

George threw his phone onto the passenger seat and felt anger rise. Why did Dream have to word it like _that_ ? As if George was something great, a person worth _praise_ and _acknowledgment_. He was just a simple guy, he wasn’t worth a fraction of what everyone says he is. He will never amount to what others like Dream, Bad, or even Tubbo have done. He couldn’t come close to what they had.

  
  


He didn’t deserve it. 

  
  


Turning into a nearby parking lot he turned his car wheels around to head home, rolling his window down he felt calm as the wind blew his hair back.

  
  


**“** **_And I wonder if that’s what it feels like to die and if I’ll ever understand God in my lifespan. Because I want to see God…”_ **

  
  


George pulled into his parking lot and slowly trudged back in his house. Flipping the lights on he went into the kitchen to make a quick dinner before he hopped online with Dream. Sitting in his rolling chair he lazily spun in a circle, awaiting for Dream to send out a Discord call to start the video. George straightened up once he heard the small ‘ping’ and quickly adjusted his head-set and joined the voice call. He smiled as Dream spoke into the mic “How’s it going George?” George smiled a little and loaded up his browser “Nothing much. Just getting some editing stuff done. How about you, Dream?” He asked while scrolling around. Dream chuckled lightly and replied in a light and cheeky voice “Just been waiting for you~” 

  
  


George’s hand gripped his mouse again. He knows Dream is just joking around when saying that, but his tone of voice is like pure and raw gold. It is one you would want to hear and listen to forever, something one would envy to have but also cherish at the same time. George gnawed at the inside of his cheek. Self-doubt was rising once more. To him, Dream almost seemed like a God of sorts. Someone who has done so much for millions for so little in return. Someone who has helped and will continue helping until the day he dies. Someone who… is _significant_. 

  
  


Something George knows he himself will _never_ be. 

  
  


**“I wanna know what God feels like…”**

  
  


George gasped lightly when he realized he went quiet for a minute and excused himself. “S-sorry about that. I was watching Cat doing something cute.” Dream laughed into the mic, a warm light laugh that sent a warm coated feeling down his spine. George chuckled along with him and sighed “Alright, let’s get on some servers and show everyone how it’s done!” 

  
  


And just like that, it was as if the self-doubt and hatred was never there to begin with.

_________________________________

  
  


Up late at night and pacing around his house, George found himself at a loss for sleep. He had not been able to properly sleep for two days now, opting for naps during the day and work at night. He has pulled a few all-nighters before, but these nights he awoke full of nerves and anxiety. Pure panic, raw sadness, sheer anger and self-hatred coursed through his veins every second he thought of doing work because most content he created involved the one person he could not bear to think of.

  
  


_Dream_. 

  
  


He hated it. Hated the fact he can’t even think of the man's hair without wanting to punch the wall. George can’t even listen to Dream’s voice without feeling his emotions build up like some sort of twisted game of jenga. It’s only a matter of time before the tower of emotions falls.

  
  


**“** **_But with the weight of the bible I will break Adam's ribs_ **

**_And repeat, my dear Eve, you do not take after this_ **

**_You were not made in a man's image.”_ **

  
  


George sighed deeply and sat on his counter. Head In his hands he felt the warm and salty tears slowly pour out of his eyes. Why was he so _angry_ ? So _upset_? 

  
  


He misses Dream deeply. He misses all his friends, actually, but his longing for Dream was greater. Being away for two whole days may seem easy to others but for George, It was painful. As if ignoring Dream was ripping his own soul in half and breaking him apart. George has no doubt that ignoring Dream and the others is doing exactly that. But he can’t bear the thought of even talking to Dream without hating himself for it. George wiped his eyes _“I don’t deserve to talk to him. I don’t deserve to play games or even get to know what he looks like.”_ He thought sadly as the tears continued to pour out which he was unsure as to why they even formed. His shoulders were shaking with each small sob that left his throat. 

  
  


Slowly pushing himself off the counter he walked into his bathroom. Looking into the mirror George seethed at his reflection. His hair was messy, his skin a little pale as he hadn’t had proper sun in two days. His eyes were starting to get small bags due to lack of proper sleep and he felt… _weak_ and _pathetic_. Compared to Dream who George knows looks collected and good most of the time, George was nothing but an ugly mutt. Gripping the sink in raw fury, he resisted the urge to punch his mirror and shatter the glass. To shatter an image he _hated_ looking at. He quickly turned away and decided to go to the living room, maybe some T.V would clear his head. 

  
  


**_“But if that's the case why do you feel so lost_ **

**_In the empty space that His hand isn't.”_ **

  
  


Sitting down he turned on his television to distract himself but of course, it didn’t work. Nothing seemed to work to get his mind off of Dream. To get his mind off of someone he wants but knows he will _never_ have. Looking outside the window at the moon and stars for what felt like the 100th time, the image of him and Dream under said moon was still plastered there. It almost felt like an insult towards George, as if calling him an idiot for even producing such a picture. George looked down in anguish, not wanting to feel so lost and angry but unable to stop the feeling from showing. In the image of him and Dream, they held hands while chatting. The mere idea of that happening made George feel sick. He wasn’t meant to hold Dream’s hand like that, Dream would rather have someone more attractive, fun and… better to live out that image with. 

  
  


**_“Why do I wait wondering how long it'll take you to admit it_ **

**_I'd rather keep my mouth shut then start to say what I can't finish.”_ **

  
  


Hours of just laying there on the couch dragged on until it was late morning when George got a call from Skeppy. George fumbled with his phone before answering “Hello?” Shit, why did his voice just crack a little? Skeppy let out a sigh of relief _“Whoo, you answered the phone this time.”_ George furrowed his brows “What do you mean?” He asked in confusion and Skeppy gaped _“George you— you haven’t talked to us in a while, answered any messages or picked up any calls. Dream tried to call you yesterday morning but he said it went straight to voice-mail.”_ He paused, voice filled with nothing but concern and said _“We’re really worried about you, George. It’s- you’ve been out of it for nearly a week now. Is everything really okay? You know you can talk to me.”_

  
  


George hummed in acknowledgment, he truly wanted to vent out to Skeppy. He was someone George trusted, someone he knows won’t up and spill anything to anyone. George knows Skeppy would never judge him for his feelings, but the minute George opened his mouth to explain he felt his throat clench. As if talking about his emotions and Dream was going to suffocate him. He let out a strangled noise and cleared his throat “Uh, don’t worry too much about me, Skeppy. I’m fine, really I am. I’m just very busy with some home issues. I’ll-I’ll be back to videos soon though!” He gave with fake reassurance as Skeppy sighed _“George… please don’t lie like this.”_ He pleaded and George’s hair rose, feeling defensive at the statement “I-I’m not lying! I really am okay, just a lot on my plate right now.” He huffed and Skeppy hummed in doubt _“Okay, I’m sorry if I upset you. But if you need to talk, me and the others are here for you. I hope you know that.”_ George stared down at his lap in guilt but nodded his head “Thanks Skeppy, but really I am doing okay.” He said once more and Skeppy replied _“Alright. I’ll talk to you later then, but please call Dream and speak with him…”_ Skeppy trailed off and George felt his stomach twist at the final words _“He’s really worried and misses you.”_

  
  


**_“Baby I have limits_ **

**_I have limits.”_ **

  
  


George hung up after that. Guilt started raining over him like thunder. Suddenly he started sobbing again and this time he hugged a pillow for comfort. 

Dream _misses_ him? He is _worried_ about him? George sunk into the couch more as the tears spilled out as an evil voice chanted in his head _“No. no, no, no. That isn’t true. You know he doesn’t care. Why would he? Look at yourself, why would anyone give a damn about you.”_ He whirled over and threw the pillow across the room, narrowly missing a vase that wobbled at the sudden whoosh of air. George let out a choked scream of agony, he felt like his heart was being torn apart at all these conflicting emotions that keep piling up. It’s all so sudden, just last week he would look at Dream with hidden love and adoration but now… he can barely look at Dream’s name without falling apart. 

  
  


His shout slowly faded into nothingness and he crumbled onto the carpeted floor, exhausted by the overwhelming hurt he was unfortunate to endure. He laid on his living room floor, unwilling to get up and move somewhere comfortable “Fuck. This is where I am now? This is how it’s going to be?” He grunted out as another stray tear fell down his cheek and onto the ground. He whimpered and curled into a ball and croaked out.

“Then so _fucking_ be it.” 

  
  


He knows he will never amount to anything. He will never amount to _Dream_. 

_________________________________

  
  


Night became George’s version of the day. At night, he felt safer in the sense no one else was awake. No one else was there to message him with questions which only made him feel worse and worse. 

  
  


During the day his phone was blaring along with his computer. Messages from his friends asking him if he was okay and even _alive_ piled up, tweets and posts from fans asking where he was and expressing how they so called _missed_ his presence online. Hundreds of missed call notifications stacked upon his screen which was smudged with finger-print stains created from the tears that fell on the screen from the many times he cried. It’s been nearly 3 weeks and not one single soul has seen or heard from George. But what hurt most were the messages from Dream. The man texted him every morning, afternoon and night if George was okay. He was always asking if they can call but George never responded, yet Dream would call anyways. George never once picked up. 

George was confused. He didn’t know why Dream would care for someone like him. Someone so small and meek, someone unable to control his emotions, someone so undeserving of his care. Why couldn’t Dream see that leaving him alone was better in the end? 

  
  


George sighed hollowly. He didn’t feel like crying anymore, or he was unable to because all the tears in his system dried up. The deafening silence of his house was comforting the first week he became… like this. But now he is starting to hate it because all he could think about was Dream and all he remembers is the ping and vibration of his phone whenever he got a message or notification. George shuddered out a breath and looked at his knuckles. They were pale and covered in bruises from him punching all his mirrors, unable to stare at the person he hated most. The shattering of the glass brought relief as it created a sound that broke the silence, but there was no more glass to shatter. 

  
  


**_“So I'm singing 'la la la' in empty rooms that carry sounds like hollow caves_ **

**_'La la la' just to prove you're not the only one that can occupy a borrowed space.”_ **

  
  


He slowly stood up and glanced around his living room with empty sockets. He had barley eaten these past three weeks, some empty cans and crumpled wrappers littered the ground but that was all. His stomach growled but he didn’t have the motivation to eat. How could he really eat and survive in a place that no longer felt familiar? How could he live in a space where he felt like a stranger? His home no longer felt like his, it felt cold and vacant. But he wanted that, or at least George told himself he wanted that. Nobody could bother him while he was alone. 

  
  


George dragged himself into the kitchen and opened a fridge that didn’t feel like his. Staring at him were unappetizing condiments, bits of old meals, and random drinks and juices. Blinking slowly he shut the fridge and grabbed a glass from the counter and filled it with water instead. Downing the drink quickly he didn’t notice how parched he really was.

  
  


He leaned over his sink, the sudden water intake waking him up slightly and his head started reeling. He continued to stare at the sink in front of him with one question in mind _“Why did I end up like this?”_

  
  


It all started the day he struggled to open a message from Dream, some seed of self-doubt planted itself in George’s heart and ever since he hasn’t been normal. He can’t look at himself without _scoffing_ , hating everything about his own _being_ , _body_ and _soul_ . Every hair follicle he _despised_ , every skin cell he had he wanted to _shred_ , every single flaw he saw he wanted to cut off and _get rid of it_. But it was not that simple. 

  
  


Tears started to weld up in George’s eyes again and he angrily wiped them away. This was just proving the fact that compared to Dream, he was nothing. Not attractive, no real sense of humor, no honey sleek voice, no charming tongue. He possessed no meaningful skills or traits. Unlike Dream who seemed to have it all. George ran a hand through his hair “I just want to get away from it all.” He mumbled to himself before pulling himself back up and walking away into his room. 

  
  


Laying down on an unmade bed, George looked out of the window beside his bed again. A picture of him and Dream under the moon and stars was still figmenting itself there. He wanted that image to happen so bad. But it will _never_ happen. The piercing silence was the only thing surrounding him, and as much as he wanted it to stay he _prayed_ that it would go away. 

  
  


**_“'La la la' for every ship that was set to sail but got washed away_ **

**_I'm singing 'la la la' in desperate hopes that when it bounces back I hear the octave change.”_ **

_________________________________

  
  


George sat still at his dinner table. In front of him was an unopened bottle of pain meds. His phone was still vibrating, messages and notification rolling in one after another. Dream was one messaging him the most, but George didn’t care. 

  
  


He didn’t want to care anymore. 

  
  


The bottle of pills was so _tempting_ . Almost like it was speaking to him, coaxing him to open the sealed cap and swallow all of them whole. As if the pills themselves were telling him that after consumption, everything would be ten times better. He would be _free_ and _happy_ again. 

  
  


How George got the pain meds he wasn’t exactly sure. Maybe he bought them somehow in a blind, depressed haze a few days ago. Or maybe he already had them for whatever reason, but all George knew was that these pills… he was positive they would end up in his mouth soon.   
  


As badly as he wanted to follow what the pills were saying and swallow all of them, he couldn’t muster the courage to even take off the lid. He sniffled and chuckled dryly “Am I really that weak that I can’t even take my own life?” He questioned nobody but himself.

  
  


Leaning back in his chair he looked outside the window. It was daytime again, something George hated seeing. It meant that things outside were alright and that despite the light, he was stuck in the dark. All he wanted was to crawl out of this terrifying and dark place he was in. But the fear of seeing Dream again and knowing that the man would never go for someone as feeble as him was too much. George swears sometimes he can hear Dream’s voice in his head, he recalls their many voice calls in the past and the many messages they have sent to one another. He smiled at the memories and a shred of warmth spread in his chest. But like a blanket the self doubt covered it up. 

  
  


Blinking away his thoughts George went back to staring at the pills. They were still so tempting, but he didn’t move to use them. Something told him he couldn’t. He didn’t want to admit it but all really wanted was Dream. If he could just hear his voice maybe things would be a little bit better. But he didn’t deserve such a thing, especially after ignoring everyone for so long.

  
  


**_“So if we could just pretend that your voice exists inside this empty void within…”_ **

  
  


George felt the normal exhaustion hit him like a train again. He didn’t sleep a wink last night and normally he would sleep during the day, but he had yet to do that at all. He leaned his head on his palm and continued to stare at the pills blankly until he heard a distant ‘click’ from behind.

  
  


George paid no mind to it. He simply ignored it like usual. His head and heart still yearning to at least hear Dream’s voice.

  
  


“George?”

  
  


George blinked and lifted his head a little. Did he just hear his name? Maybe his mind was now playing tricks on him. He leaned his head back down but then there were foot-steps in the background. 

  
  


“George!? What the hell are you doing!?” 

  
  


George jumped in pure shock and horror. That wasn’t just a voice. It was _his_ voice. It was _Dream’s_ voice.

  
  


**_“Then holy shit, holy shit, holy shit if you spoke_ **

**_Insomnia might loosen its wholesome grip on my throat.”_ **

  
  


George turned and locked his dead eyes with Dream’s wide distraught ones. It was all too much and George stood up to console the man but the sudden movement was too stressful. All he saw was black and Dream running towards his falling body.

_________________________________

  
  


Dream gaped in complete and utter horror at the unconscious body that laid in his arms. George was so… sickly looking and his skin was nearly white. It looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks and hasn’t eaten properly in days. His hair was oily and dirty, his cheeks tinted red but were still as white as a sheet. His eyes were grey and sunken in, giving away proper sleep hadn't visited him in a while. The clothes he wore were old, stale and felt damp as well, indicating he had not changed them in days. Dream felt a few tears fall down his cheeks at the state of George, feeling complete grief and utterly lost at what to do. How could he have not seen this? It makes so much sense.

  
  


George had been distant and off for a while, didn’t respond to messages like usual, and didn’t answer calls until later. One wouldn’t think much of it but Dream _knows_ George. He knows he wouldn’t just ignore others like that. And then suddenly he cut everyone off completely and became dead to the world for nearly a month. 

  
  


And now Dream knows why.

  
  


For the first time in his whole life, Dream’s heart _shattered_ into millions of pieces. Just looking down at George’s cracked lips, bruised knuckles, and shallow breathing was enough for him to break down as well and start sobbing.

He knows George is alive but why couldn’t he have helped _sooner_?

  
  


Dream quickly wiped away his tears, there was no time to cry right now. He needed to make sure George was okay and comfortable. Slowly standing up, he picked up George bridal style and placed him on the couch in the living-room before returning to the kitchen. Grabbing the bottle of pills angrily and sighed in relief. “Thank God, he didn’t open them.” He stuffed the pills in his pocket and moved back to George who was still in a dead sleep. Frowning at his poorly tames appearance Dream quickly found George’s bathroom and made the decision to at least help get him washed. Dream quickly figured out the nozzles and drew a warm bath with a few bubbles and just as he was about to leave, he remembered the forgotten item in his pocket and grabbed the forsaken pills. 

  
  


Wasting no time, he turned around and dumped the pills into the toilet and flushed them down the drain, feeling happy that they were forever gone now. Chucking the empty bottle into a trash-can he walked back to George’s room and grabbed a simple tee shirt and a pair of shorts from the closet. He finally got back to George and gently picked him up. Holding him close and tight as if he was going to disappear at any moment. He gently laid George’s still asleep body on the bathroom floor and propped him up against the bathtub. Dream peeled off his old clothes and respectively avoided staring and going near any intimate areas before lifting him up and placing him in the water. Grabbing a nearby cloth Dream worked on gently lathering his skin with soap and lightly washed his bloody knuckles. He ran the cloth over his chest and neck, holding back a small tear as the days of build-up fell off in flakes of dust and dirt. Reaching into the water with cupped hands he dumped some water on George’s head and watched the specks of dirt fall out. He continued this action before adding soap and gently scratched it into his scalp. Using the same method he washed the soap out and smiled at the return of George’s naturally dark brown hair. 

  
  


Dream reached over for a towel and grabbed the softest one and spread it out on the floor. He reached in and drained the tub before picking George up once more and placing him on the towel, wrapping it around him and heaving his light body up again. Dream sped off towards George’s room and placed him on a nearby chair and changed the sheets of his bed from old and sweaty ones to clean and new ones. He laid George down and made quick work of dressing him back up, again respectively avoiding any intimate areas and once he was done, he smiled in glee. George looked a little better now, some color returned to his face and he was clean. His hair was fluffy again and his bruises were more faded. 

  
  


Dream hummed and stood up, glancing around at the dirty room he nodded his head “Time to get to work.” He told himself but he wasn’t upset. He would do anything for George. 

  
  


He loved him dearly after all. 

________________________________

George awoke later that afternoon feeling very refreshed. He didn’t feel as heavy and his bed felt comfortable again. He looked around in confusion, his room looked more alive as well. There was no trash anywhere, things were more organized, and the windows were even open! 

  
  


Why was he asleep anyway? 

  
  


He shook his head, maybe he was dreaming of something good for once instead of… Dream himself. Maybe he would actually wake up soon and find the familiar darkness again. But this all felt too… real. George looked down at himself and tilted his head in question, he doesn’t remember changing clothes either. What the hell is happening right now!?

  
  


His thoughts were cut off once he heard a small bang from his kitchen. His eyes widened and he slowly stood up. If this wasn’t a dream, did someone really just break into his house? It’s not like he minded though, it would distract him from the deep and dark thoughts that seemed to plague him. Slowly walking out of his room he noticed how the whole house seemed cleaner, and once he turned the corner to the kitchen he froze. Nothing but shock and fear ran through his veins as he started the very man he wanted to be _away_ from. 

  
  


There stood Dream, a cloth in hand as he was wiping down the kitchen counters. He too was shocked, staring at George with raised brows before throwing the cloth down and running at George full speed. He threw his arms around the smaller man and lifted him up in a gentle, but tight, hug. George gasped loudly but didn’t wrap his arms around him. Too afraid and confused to process what was happening. He felt his chest get warm and realized that Dream was crying into his shirt. Dream pulled his head away and let George back down, now they both stood there crying. Dream cried in relief and joy but George cried in anger, sadness, and regret. Dream still held him close “George, oh god I was so worried about you!” He cried out and held George tightened “I was so damn worried you were hurt, or- or dead or that something terrible happened.” He whispered and felt George tense up and flinch away from his touch. He was too complexed to return any words, instead he listened as Dream continued speaking “You never responded or called back and we… I missed you so much these past weeks. I was just so worried about you so I came out and found you…” he trailed off and bit his lip at the awful memory of George passing out in his arms. George himself felt regret in his heart but also rage and he pushed himself away from George and asked one simple question.

  
  


“Why do you keep _lying_ and saying that you _care_?”

And this time, Dream froze in his spot.

  
  


**_“And I can begin to forgive you for admitting the hoax_ **

**_Instead of learning to hate you for every minute you don't_ **

**_Because I sit here wondering if anything you said was true.”_ **

  
  


Dream reached for George “Oh George what- what is this all about?” He asked quietly, it felt like he was just slapped across the face at the coldness George was showing him. George flared and narrowed his eyes “You just keep _CARING_ about me! You ask what’s wrong but I know you don’t _mean_ it!” He bellowed and turned away “I mean, why _would_ you!? It makes no sense!” He was pacing now, all his thoughts spilling out of his mouth uncontrollably “I know you don’t _really care._ I know you don’t _really_ want to _help_ . It makes no damn sense, Dream. Look at you compared to me. I’m nothing but _garbage_ !“ Dream flinched at his harsh tone and winced as George kept going “Look at us! Look at you! You’re like some type of _God_ sent down to help others while I’m just a _lowlife_ ! I have no _purpose_ , Dream. I’m not _WORTHY OF ONE!_ ” He shouted and punched the wall closest to him. Dream ran forwards and pulled George’s wrists and in a firm and loud voice said to George “You need to stop it, George. You need to stop this right now.”   
  
  


The shorter mans eyes widened but he looked away, more tears falling down as he crumpled under Dream’s stare “ _Please…_ don’t look at me. I can’t _stand it_ anymore…” he cried weakly and Dream furrowed his brows “What do you mean?” He asked and George shuddered “I just… you’re so much _better_ than me. I can’t amount to you in any way possible. I’m-I’m just a piece of shit compared to you. I don’t have a purpose- you do. I don’t make people happy like you do, I don’t help people like you do, unlike you I’m just… _nothing_.”

Dream shuddered at the coldness in his voice, he reached up and wiped away George’s tears and led him to the couch. The pair sat in silence for a moment and took in each other's presence. 

  
  


All George could think about was wanting to comfort Dream but also be comforted. 

  
  


And all Dream could think about was the words that George just said to him. 

  
  


**_“And who it was that taught you to speak bullets_ **

**_Without considering the exit wound_ **

**_Tell me who.”_ **

  
  


They both sat there for a few minutes. Taking time to collect thoughts before Dream suddenly pulled George onto his lap and into his chest. George went rigid, why was Dream still even _near_ him after all that happened? Shouldn’t he be _disgusted_ that George is so pathetic and weak? Dream hummed and held George close and the smaller man had no choice but to focus on Dream and his beating heart. They sat in silence, Dream kept his arms firmly around George’s waist and body in a comforting hug in which George slowly found himself sinking into it and accepting it. Eventually his own arms wrapped around Dream and the pair held each other for what felt like hours. 

  
  


As they sat there they shared very few words, mainly Dream reassuring that George was not what he believed he was. Dream unhooked his arm free to brush some strands of hair out of George’s face and smiled at him “Hey George, tell me how long do you wanna be like this?” He asked and tightened his grip “I don’t mind the answer.” He soothed and George took in a shaky breath “Forever… or at least for awhile.” And Dream smiled widely “That's fine with me.” And just like that the pair fell asleep in each other's arms on the couch.

  
  


**_“Because I still think back to the first time you called me with nothing to say_ **

**_That morning you were more than just my friend and we both noticed something had changed.”_ **

_________________________________

  
  


The next morning Dream and George woke up in the exact same position. A shift in the air was noticed and George felt… _happier_. And though it was unsaid Dream felt happier as well. George rolled his shoulders and stretched groggily, shifting so he sat in Dream’s lap comfortably “Morning sleepy-head~” Dream cooed teasingly which earned him a light slap on the cheek “Oh be quiet, it’s been a long night.” Dream hummed in agreement and leaned back to stretch as well but neither made any effort to move. Dream smiled and kept his grip on George who didn’t mind at all, he was happy to finally have Dream here. Happy to finally feel something again but he still felt a ping of sadness. Just because Dream was holding him like this didn’t exactly mean he loved him the same way George loved Dream himself.

  
  


**_“You drove to your parents house and we talked about everything_ **

**_We talked about how much it sucked, but no matter what, we had to remain_ **

**_Nothing.”_ **

  
  


George pulled himself away from Dream’s warmth a little and looked down at his lap “Dream… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all I put you through. I’m sorry I ignored you and all the others. I’m sorry if I hurt you at all during these past weeks. I’ve just been so-“ His wailing was muffled as Dream pressed his lips closed “It’s okay, George. I never blamed you for anything in the first place and you were already forgiven.” He calmed George’s nerves and continued “You were depressed and I just want to help you. I’m not sure why you feel so… small compared to me but just know,” he pulled George closer and spoke quietly “You’re worth more than the world could ever offer. I know that for a solid fact.” George smiled widely and pressed into Dream’s chest “Thank you, Dream.” He whispered “Anything for you, George.” Dream replied and again, they sat in silence.

  
  


George lifted his head and noticed the windows were open. He also noted it was night and that the moon was out, but this time the painful picture he saw before wasn’t there. Instead, he just saw the gbeuatofuk glory of the moon. He smiled and Dream followed his gaze before chucking “Wanna get outside a little?” He offered and pulled George up who nodded his head “Hell yeah!” They laughed lightly and Dream led George out of the door and onto the grass. They sat there again in comfortable silence next to one another. 

  
  


**_“And in that deafening silence_ **

**_I asked if I could still call you my snowflake_ **

**_And you said okay, you said okay, you…”_ **

  
  


George picked at the grass nervously and looked at Dream “Hey, Dream…?” Dream turned towards George with a small smile “Yeah George?”

  
  


George smiled back, “...I love you.”

  
  


Dream grinned widely and held George’s hand gently “I love you too, George!”

  
  


**_“… Said okay.”_ **

**Author's Note:**

> To not cause confusion the bold lines shown in this fic are lyrics to the song “You Said Okay” by Flatsound, which this story was heavily inspired by. 
> 
> This is also my first piece of writing I have ever posted to the public so any respectful feedback is appreciated.
> 
> This is a personal piece of writing. Do not repost it on any other site under any circumstances nor claim it as your own. Also, do not press this fic on the people mentioned nor try and force them to read it. They are real people with real thoughts and if this writing upsets them in any way shape or form I will willingly delete it.


End file.
